Scam library · United Kingdom · Updated 20 October 2026
Romance scams: what they say, how to spot it, what to do
An emotional connection can make a payment feel like helping someone you know. Step outside the conversation and check the request with someone you trust.
What they say
Illustrative examples, written in our own words:
- I want to visit you, but I need money for the travel documents first.
- A medical emergency means I need a transfer today and cannot call.
- A parcel I sent you is being held; pay this release charge.
- We can build a future together if you join this private investment platform.
How to spot it
- Money requests keep arriving while meeting or independent checks are repeatedly postponed.
- The person asks for secrecy or tries to separate you from friends who question the story.
- Payments go to changing third parties, or the relationship shifts towards an investment account.
What to do now
- Pause payments and do not agree to receive or forward money for the person.
- Keep the messages and ask a trusted friend or relative to look at the request with you.
- Report the account through the dating or message platform. Do not pay someone who later promises guaranteed recovery.
If you already paid or shared details
Call your bank immediately on the number on your card, using a trusted device. After hanging up, 159 can connect you to participating UK banks; coverage and call charges depend on your provider. Explain what you sent or shared and ask about stopping payments and securing the account.
Keep the conversation and payment evidence before blocking the account. If there are threats involving intimate images, do not send more money or images; include the threats in your police report and use the platform’s reporting tools.
Under Payment Systems Regulator rules, UK banks and payment firms must refund most eligible authorised push payment (APP) scam losses from UK Faster Payments transfers made on or after 7 October 2024, up to £85,000 per claim. This means you were tricked into authorising a transfer. Eligibility and exceptions apply. Cards, cash, international transfers and crypto payments are not automatically covered by this rule. Report promptly and ask the bank to explain its assessment, any excess and the relevant deadlines.
Keep messages and payment references. In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, report to Report Fraud (formerly Action Fraud). In Scotland, report to Police Scotland on 101. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
Forward suspicious SMS texts to 7726 and emails to report@phishing.gov.uk, following GOV.UK reporting guidance. For message apps, use the app’s report and block tools. Reporting a message does not replace contacting your bank about a payment.
Questions people ask
Does a long conversation mean the money request is safe?
No. Check the request independently even when you have spoken for a long time or feel close to the person.
Should I pay someone who says they can recover the loss?
Do not pay an unsolicited recovery contact. Ask your bank or payment provider about recovery through its official process.